Facebook a part of the healing process

I'm so thankful that my cousin, Tonya, first asked me to join facebook. I can't imagine not having the connections that it has allowed me to rekindle after years of not seeing friends, students, and other loved ones. I love that no matter how far apart I am from my friends, facebook takes the many miles away.

Living with multiple sclerosis, sleep apnea, and fibromyalgia I suffer from severe fatigue...fatigue that cannot be imagined. Only those that suffer from MS, do I think really comprehend the fatigue and maybe some very intuned care givers like my husband. He seems to totally get just how difficult it is on me…not just physically and mentally, but emotionally as well. It embarasses me not to be able to plan because I don't know if I'm going to have the energy to do something next week or even later today. Sometimes, I just push myself on through because I hate disappointing others and I love spending time with people. But I end up paying for it afterwards with severe pain, fatigue that keeps me knocked out for days, and other heightened symptoms like double and blurry vision.

That's where facebook comes in…with my laptop, wireless internet, and facebook; I can communicate with my friends when I feel up to it. And communicating with them lifts my spirits. I don't think a day has gone by in the past few months that I haven't been able to enjoy a great laugh because of something that one of my friends has said. If you are like me and may go a week or more before you step out of your house because you just don't have the strength to get dressed and leave; I encourage you to try facebook or some other networking website to reconnect with people that mean a lot to you but you may not feel like seeing in person.

Saving My Life and Tax Dollars Too

It's hard to believe that I'm still using as much medication as I am each day…not that I'm not succeeding with my plan to get off all the medication as possible. No, I'm very pleased with my success. Like the saying goes…it's all a matter of perspective. To me it seems like I'm taking nothing, but then when I think about my husband who really isn't on any prescription medication at all…I know I'm still taking a lot. Even so, he too realizes that I've come a long way and he is very proud of the little that I'm still on.

 How am I doing exactly? I have gone from needing thirty plus pills per day plus a weekly shot of interferon to taking three and half pills per night. The last few pills I feel confident that I can definitely relinquish once my husband is back from his current deployment. I'm hoping that I can stop taking them even before then, but since I take two pills of Cymbalta for depression and pain related to depression and one clonazepam pill nightly for anxiety; I'm not sure during a deployment is the best time for me to get off all medications of this type. I am proud that I have already cut the clonazepam from three pills daily to the one nightly. Already, I am making an improvement in my emotional well being or even this would seem impossible. For different reasons the holiday season, that should be a time of celebration, tends to be one that is stressful and depressing for many. With that thought, I will probably stay at the level of medication I'm currently on until after the New Year's.

 If I can maintain my health (although I'm hoping for improvement) without the medications that I have already taken myself off of, I will be making a huge difference in the overall effect of my life in the long term. A few of the medications have been known to cause problems with the heart, liver, and kidneys. It is required for me to have blood test semi-annually to monitor my liver due to these medications. My interferon (that until recently I had been taking for five years) among other warnings has the risk of hepatitis because the serem is made from donated blood. It appears that, although they try, it is impossible to be 100% certain that there isn't any hepatitis in the blood being used. This never really sat right with me. There was always that looming concern of…what if? What if the blood made to make this shot that I'm injecting into myself today is tainted? By no longer taking the interferon, I am saving tax dollars of over $900.00 per month. I am extremely fortunate that as a military spouse, my medical needs are met. However, I feel pride in knowing that not only am I saving my life by getting off of so many medications but I'm also making a small dent in tax money that is being spent.

Two of the bags that I have referred to as my personal pharmacy…glad to say these days are behind me.

The Importance of Correct Footwear

Early on, even before I knew something was wrong...before the profound weight gain...my feet would often ache at night; a side effect of teaching all day on linoleum floors. But now, I had to plan my shoes for work. No longer was the pain limited to my feet at night. I was beginning to feel pain radiate from my heels all the way up to my hips. I began carefully selecting shoes that would help absorb the shock of each step.

During one of my professional development days for a new school system, I hadn't walked far when my legs and feet began to ache. I made a mental note to myself...definitely need to buy some more shoes before school begins. These shoes had obviously had their day, losing all comfort and support. Through out the professional development meeting, I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I needed to buy some more shoes. After all, my feet were in pain. My new shoes would need provide comfort while walking around the classroom and standing on the hard floors. Multiple sclerosis has made shoes, the most imporant part of my career wardrobe.

Three hours after walking into the doors of the school where the professional development was occurring, I looked down at my feet while we were breaking between workshops. My shoes were on the wrong feet! They had been that way all morning! Before going to my next workshop, I swapped my shoes around. Walking to the next room, I felt like I was wearing new shoes. Funny how your stride is so much more pleasant when your shoes are on the correct feet!

Planning the Escape

This blog will hopefully be an inspiration to others to escape a prison that they may feel they too are in due to their health; whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. Writing has always helped me to learn more about myself...allowing me to take a step back to really analyze what is going on in my life. I no longer want to feel as though my only option in life is to take medicine for my symptoms of multiple sclerosis and other afflictions. There has to be more that I can do to help me. Not being a health professional or scientist, these posts are meant for encouragement not medical advice. However, as you follow me through my journey to freedom, I hope you are encouraged to live your life free from health restraints. I no longer want my fatigue, pain, or being ill to dictate my schedule.


When I first heard about MS, I didn't know anything about the disease. I devoured books, internet sites, and journals trying to find out as much as I could. I wanted to know more about the symptoms...know what to expect. Therefore, I will write about symptoms...not sure how often or how much I will say about them at this time. Don't want the symptoms to take over the excitement of the escape. Yet, I want to be realistic for others who are like me...who are looking for a true source that lets them honestly know what to expect. Finding the right balance will occur as my blog develops.